How 2020 Has Helped My Anxiety

How 2020 Has Helped My Anxiety

Wow! It’s been a minute since I’ve done some writing and contributed to my site—how very 2020 of me (let’s hope I remember how to even post this).  Good news is that I’m BACK because, oddly enough, I think 2020 has been the best and healthiest year in my five-year anxiety journey.  All amidst a global pandemic, civil unrest and a general heightened collective anxiety as a society.  I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, anxiety is weird.

Now, I am not here to say that it was all rainbows and butterflies.  I had some ups and downs, not to mention, I had COVID really early on when there were no treatments or even a lot of information on symptoms and recovery.  There were some massive periods of anxiety and spiraling (so it goes). In spite of that, I am feeling some big 2021 energy coming my way and felt inspired to share some positive takeaways from this past year as it relates to my anxiety. 

Learning to Live Presently

There’s nothing like being forced into a lesson that you’ve tried to unsuccessfully learn for many years!  I am a planner.  If I don’t have my weekend planned by Wednesday, I start to get a little antsy.  If I don’t have any future travel planned, I feel like I’m missing something to look forward to.  Insert 2020.  Weekend plans?  Not a thing.  Travel?  Cancelled.  2020 has taught me that you can’t really live based on future plans. So embrace the present and let the good things roll your way. I’ve been trying to let things come to me, too, instead of obsessively trying to control the future (another lesson on that here).

Fun fact, I’ve had some of the best experiences in 2020 that have come my way when I have stopped worrying about plans or the future, and have just lived more in the moment.  This is a complete departure from the way I have lived, you know, my entire life… and while it isn’t necessarily a 100% change, it’s been a fun new way to live.

Less Overthinking and More Gratitude

I’m really good at overthinking… and I mean, really good.  My anxiety is particularly good at taking thoughts and intensifying them enough where, at times, I’ll take action to avoid whatever the situation is because I’ve already completely irrationally created a catastrophe in my head. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t like being challenged, growing and trying new things out of my comfort zone—but there are certain things that my anxiety says no can do. And it can be really challenging to power through to the other side.  While I still excel at overthinking certain situations, the pure lack of control in 2020 really forced me to stop that thought spiral when the fear thoughts would take over. 

On the flip side, once I was able to do things that I wasn’t able to do for a period of time, I felt so grateful to be doing it that I didn’t even have fear thoughts come up.  Certain anxiety-inducing situations like a long drive, or a trip with people I didn’t know suddenly became a lot easier because my gratitude was louder than my anxiety.  Who would’ve thought. 

Recognizing the Strength of Battling an Anxiety Disorder

Really interesting change of events in 2020.  When you live with an anxiety disorder, you can oftentimes feel like you live in a world alone with the challenges you face in your day-to-day life.  Suddenly, a global pandemic among many things shook up our world and there was this collective anxiety felt as a society.  I took some time to poll my audience on Instagram asking what was making people anxious, and there were so many recurring themes: the election, COVID, civil unrest, feeling completely out of control and many more. 

2020 didn’t make someone who is anxious feel alone, in fact, it made me feel really strong.  I was like wait, this is absolute chaos. But I KNOW how to handle this because I deal with it on the daily.  While this past year wasn’t perfect, I’m really proud of how I navigated the collective fear. And realized that I am in fact, stronger than I once thought.

I never thought a tumultuous year like 2020 could be such a positive experience with my anxiety.  I’m not sure where I heard this (probably in a Hallmark movie, let’s be honest), but someone recently said if this exact same situation was given to you a year ago, you would not be able to get through it with such ease and grace.  We have learned and grown so much in 2020 - and that’s the big energy I’m planning to take into 2021.  I hope you are too!