What a Panic Attack Feels Like
Do you have a friend or loved one who struggles with anxiety and panic attacks? If so, this is for ya’ll! If you do have anxiety, I will warn you now that I go deep into the symptoms of a panic attack and it may induce anxiety - I know, because I got anxiety writing it. Proceed with caution!
What a Panic Attack Feels Like
Anxiety is confusing. Shit, it’s confusing for those people who have it. So, trying to understand it from an outsider’s perspective is hard - and we (we, as in, the anxious) totally get that. One second we can be totally fine and chill, and the next, for absolutely no reason at all, we have that terror look in our eye and we are on the way to a full breakdown. Trust me, we don’t really understand it either. We certainly aren’t over the moon about it. But, it is what it is, and we endure.
Everyone gets anxious and stressed, but for those without a true anxiety disorder, it’s typically short-lived and overall mild. Those with an anxiety disorder experience more of a world caving in apocalyptic sensation when struggling with anxiety and stress. It takes longer for us to shake it - often, days to overcome the general anxiety. We have to work really hard at managing it (if you haven’t picked up on that, yet). So, if you feel confused when someone you know is struggling, and just don’t understand what they are feeling during a panic attack… let me try break it down for you.
I have a (painful) exercise for you.
Imagine something you are really scared of, I mean really scared of. Snakes, spiders, rats - any of those lovely things. Now, imagine being trapped in a room with, like, 500 of them. Is your heart racing a little? Is your breath feeling a bit shallow? Do you feel like if you were in that situation you would actually die? Welcome friends to a panic attack! A panic attack and the fight-or-flight that causes your body to react to real danger (say, a tiger chasing you) is the same, except a panic attack is usually from perceived fear and without an actual imminent threat. It’s a little number that our brains do to us for a variety of reasons, depending on different triggers such as trauma or memories.
Sorry I had to do that to you. Trust me, as a person often in fight-or-flight, I really am. Let’s all take a deep breath (feel free to flip me off) and come back to the present moment. Fight-or-flight can be good if there’s real danger - obviously, it’s telling you to get the F out or fight for your life. When it’s a psychological threat, it couldn't be more annoying. The reason people have an anxiety disorder and panic attacks are for different reasons, but it all goes back to wiring in the brain. According to Dr. G., the amygdala - the part of your brain that responds to fear - can be hyperactive in someone’s brain that has anxiety causing it to send the wrong ass signals to other parts of your brain.
A psychologist by the name of Daniel Goleman actually coined this term the “amygdala hijack” aka it’s triggering a response before the rest of your rational brain can even catch up, by this point your body is already reacting.
Hijack...sounds about right.
So, what does a panic attack truly feel like? Well, it’s a bit different for everyone. But, here is my apocalypse. I start with getting really nauseous. My heart rate and respiratory rate increases, so ultimately I feel like I’m having trouble breathing. This is because the body is naturally increasing your blood flow and your breathing rate to provide energy to respond to the “danger” (quotes, because it ain’t real folks). I will then feel an intense tingling in my arms, followed by full body trembling. Last but not least, I will be freezing cold yet somehow sweating at the same time. This is due to your body sending all of your blood to your muscles causing them to tense up in preparation to defend yourself, or bail, against said perceived fear.
Sometimes my friends say that they can quite literally see the fear in my eyes. Well, that’s likely because the pupils get hella dilated during a panic attack, which is your body taking in more light to become more aware of your surroundings. Honestly, the body is really fascinating. Like I mentioned, this is great when there’s real danger, but it’s a real bitch when you are say doing normal things like… socializing, driving, or sleeping.
My panic attacks are typically triggered when my anxiety is built up.
Some people’s panic attacks come on out of the blue. In my case, I’m typically aware of when I’m prone to panic attacks. Why do I still put myself in trigger situations when my anxiety is bad? Welp, because I want to live my life, dammit. I want to be able to drive home for the holidays, I want to be able to travel, I want to be able to socialize, and I want to be able to be in crowds for fun things like concerts and sporting events. The anxious people I know feel the same way! But, sometimes it isn’t executed to a perfect 10 (thinking Olympic USA gymnastics, obviously). I know my limits but sometimes the struggle is real.
For example, on a recent trip to Arizona with my family, I had to take a day to myself. My anxiety was high and I wanted to feel good for the rest of the trip, so after lunch I decided to go back to the condo and do a self-care day with reading, napping, and taking a bath. I would have loved to hang out with my family the rest of the day, but I knew my body needed it and I wasn’t going to beat myself up about it. I took the day and felt great by that evening! The photo below was taken at lunch. Things look so normal on the outside, right?
A person’s first panic attack will make you feel like you are perhaps going crazy.
I will never forget mine. I felt like I was dying for no reason at all, and couldn’t even gather a glimmer of rational thinking to figure out what was going on. So, if you’ve never had a panic attack, take it from me, you’re good without one. If you are a witness to someone else’s panic attack it’s important to not ask why they are experiencing what they are, (because often times it doesn't make a whole lot of sense) but rather do your best to try and help them through it (more on that later). Those with anxiety totally understand that you can’t fully empathize with us when we are struggling, nor do we want anyone to, it blows! Sometimes though learning and wanting to understand is the only support needed. I have anxiety now - signing off!
Comment below if you want to talk about what you experience with a panic attack!